Urbana So Far...

It's the end of our second full day at Urbana and so far this conference has been very moving and impactful. I am so thankful to be here! I am so thankful for AAIV and my family at Lighthouse and for God providing me with safe travels and the funds to bring me here. Being away from Washington this past term has been really rough and I have felt a lot of loneliness, but God has really shown me, even just in these last couple days, how much I have to be thankful for - especially for these communities. I got to St. Louis a little later than I had hoped, and since my flight was slightly delayed, we didn't really have much time to settle in. We skipped hotel check-in, dropped off our stuff in our room and headed over to the America Center for the first session. The speakers and the seminars so far have been amazing, but I found myself in need of quiet reflection and personal communion with God. There has been so much information presented to me, so many ways that God has been molding my heart, convicting me and opening my eyes, that it hasn't had a chance to really sink in, and leave the imprint that I think God is trying to put on my life. 

...

One of the many things that I am thankful for in this conference is the availability of prayer rooms. I went to one today, and was able to reflect and journal a bit about the things that I think God is trying to teach me: The people who are presenting and those who are worshipping and serving have such an incredible sense of confidence in God's mission and the way that they fit into his plan. Before I left home for Urbana, I thought that I had a plan that fell in line with God's mission. I thought that the goals I am striving for, are beneficial for his kingdom - and they still may be, but even this past day and a half, I have learned about how much I need to grow. Not so much growth in the way of gaining knowledge or experience in the field or knowledge of the Bible, but in confidence and faith in Christ. The confidence that I see in the speakers and seminar leaders, of the missionaries and team leaders, is a confidence that their efforts and good intentions are nothing without God. And that their accomplishments do not praise them, but they praise Jesus and his global mission for change. Before this conference, I was hoping that figuring out ways to plug myself into ministries and missions would reflect my devotion to Christ, but God cares more about the condition of our heart, not our worldly deeds or what we think are accomplishments.

One of the verses that was displayed in the prayer room was James 1:5-8, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." This really reminded me to strive to believe and not doubt God's purpose and movement through me, simply as a tool for his glory.

...

Tonight there was a presentation from a businessman who has made a decision to partner with World Vision. He said that he had before just been in the business of medical equipment sales, but after one of his friends from World Vision introduced him to the poverty in Swaziland, he was moved by the Holy Spirit to use his position to make a difference for this country. Tonight we helped make over 32,000 caregiver packs to send to caregivers in Swaziland. They contained basic necessities like latex gloves, antibacterial soaps and cotton swabs that they would not have been able to get. For the businessman who came, this was his moment of determining change - a turning point for his life. For me, it was clear reminder to use my gifts and future skills to make a positive impact, whether it is globally or locally.

One of the questions for tonight encouraged us to reflect on the repeating themes in the past 24 hours. One of the main themes that has been repeating is the story about the Great Banquet and the invitation we have to come to the great party that God has invited us to. Something that really stood out to me is my sense of frustration at the people in the story who made up ridiculous excuses to avoid the banquet, and realizing that sometimes I am just like that. That even though God has an amazing and perfect plan for my life and has tried to give me direction, I sometimes find myself unsure or making up excuses. I think God is inviting me to view the world differently by showing me the needs of others and challenging me to have a childlike faith, fully depending on him for direction and my future. I think he is showing me how view others in love and view the world as a field for missions. I feel him encouraging me with the vast amount of opportunities that I have, and that I just need to trust him.

...

Thanks Dsak for starting this! I hope our experiences and sharing can encourage you, who is reading this (: Thank you for your prayers! It's freezing here! But God is moving (: And I'm sleepy.. I probably shouldn't have stayed up this late.. Haha goodnight!